Positive mindset

Why Obsessing over Control Destroys Life and How to Overcome It

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Our minds are our biggest battleground. It is where our greatest expectations and conflicts reside. When we allow negative thoughts to dwell in it, they eventually rob us of joy, peace, and even our life. This explains why more people are dealing with mental health issues, such as stress, anxiety, and depression.

In recent years, people are taking different steps to overcome their mental struggles. Some take meditation classes while others enrol in mental health first aid programs. These steps allow them to understand their symptoms and find the best interventions.

The need for control is also a mental health concern. It robs people of quality life as they refuse to accept things as they go. In this article, we’ll talk about the adverse effects of taking control of one’s life, ways to overcome it, and the benefits of letting go of controlling behaviour.

How a controlling attitude negative affects life

People have a natural tendency to control everyone, but it’s not always healthy. There are plenty of ways in which attempts to control everything will backfire in the long run.

Stress and anxiety

People who want to control everything are more likely to experience stress and anxiety than those who accept things as they are. Even the feeling of being out of control when you think it’s necessary can significantly increase your blood pressure. These people end up feeling devastated when things go against their plan.

Lesser satisfaction

Most people tend to feel dissatisfied with their life if they lose control of things that matter to them. When things they care much about are outside their control, they feel compelled to criticize everything that happens. They end up disliking things that are against their will, making them feel progressively frustrated with their lives.

People who are too critical of their environment make them even more neurotic. This can lead to damaging effects for people dealing with anxiety and depression because it causes them to criticize and think negatively about themselves.

How to let go of control

You can learn certain skills to support your transition through uncertainty and change. These strategies will help you determine which things you should let go of and what to hold on to.

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Focus on things you can control

There’s no way to control people’s reactions and external events. Your agency lies only in your attitude, mindsets, reactions, and responses. Therefore, you have to understand that things beyond your control will happen as they are and will eventually turn out for the best.

Identify triggers

Identifying triggers that compel you to control certain events will help you determine precisely where your emotions are coming from. You can do this by noting which factors increase your anxiety responses and induce tension in your body.

With honesty and empathy, try to understand why you keep micromanaging all aspects of your life. Do you have trust issues when it comes to career and relationships? Do you have a fear of the unknown? The next time an external event happens that seems to disagree with you, you can work on your control triggers to calm your mind and body.

Benefits when you surrender control

You appreciate people as they are

While it’s normal to disagree with the opinions and thoughts of other people, it doesn’t give you an excuse to discriminate or deny their beliefs or perspective. When you let go of control, you learn to recognize people’s unique views, opinions, and lifestyles, even if it’s against yours. You learn to overcome your pride and welcome things beyond your comfort zone.

You avoid unnecessary misunderstandings

Do you often get misunderstood by people around you? Do misunderstandings shape the direction of your friendships?

It’s difficult to let our life be driven by illusions and misunderstandings. We miss several opportunities when we let minor conflicts stress us out because we can’t control the way people see us. If you stop controlling how everyone perceives you, you grow beyond perpetual misunderstandings and unburden your mind from people’s expectations.

You have peace of mind

Inner peace doesn’t rely on external situations. Peace of mind happens anytime and anywhere once you come to peace, whatever is boggling your mind. It’s all about understanding that every event in your life is predominantly determined by how you view and react to it. When you let go of control, you’re surrendering your worries and ego, giving a clear path for peace to enter your life.

Incredible changes happen in our life once we stop craving for control. We overcome frustration, worries, stress, and other negative emotions. While the need for control is a natural human need, it can only make your life more complicated. So, challenge yourself to welcome possibilities, and you’ll be on your way to a more fulfilling life.